always.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

This thing about drifting. Maybe I did let my insecurities take it too far. At this stage, people are definitely moving on. But yes, it also doesn't mean that they have totally forgotten what happened before. We can always still keep in touch. We can always still hang out. We can always still meet up, catch up and have fun. It takes at least two to clap. But maybe.. it's hard to offer out one hand to clap on.. Maybe it's because everybody's working.. or off to ns.. or still in school. Or maybe they're all excuses. Heh oh well. Maybe I should get down to doing some calls instead.. =)

Thanks for that.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

=jo and aud. and everyone else who's going to say the same thing as them.=
haha aiyooo no la i didn't mean ALL of my pri/sec/jc frens!! and definitely not u guys!! i have no intention of letting u guys go at all!! it's just that we will definitely lose contact or slowly drift from SOME of those that we know from school..

=aud= haha thanks gal yea i won't anymore. not so much. that day felt real baddd after drinking.. eh but 29th we go ah..! hurhur.

=jo= wahaha okaye. aiya it's still kinda weird washing it with soap!! the food will taste soapy!!

=blee= kk sure ;). hmmm. gotta do some power persuading man..! or maybe get JO to come!! *biggrin*

Friday, April 07, 2006

I think the many days of no routine and lack of contact with many people is getting to me. I'm starting to get PARANOID and there's just so much nonsense to think about. And it's driving me crazy. And I'm always drifting back to the good old days.. Where things were easier, happier, so much more carefree. When things haven't come to such a stage. Where relationships with people were so much simpler. Where friends aren't so far away. Where we could see each other almost every day. And where things were so much more natural. Where you don't have to constantly feel conscious about how people size you up/judge you/form some stupid negative opinion..

But. Times and situations have changed. We all have our own things to do. We're far less involved in each other's things. There's this strain. This rift. Whatever. And it's so vexing. Ruzzy told me that friends are transient. I guess she's right. First it was letting go of primary school friends. Then secondary school. Then.. it's in between letting go more people and knowing them as friends still. That's the strain.. No. That's not the real issue. It is more of a change in the types of friendships that I have. There are some that I need to let go and not get into it as much as before. There are some that are the total opposite. Much as I want or do not want to..

Dammit. It's a total mess.
Fine.. I will sort it out somehow.

Which is why that day with daisy and aloysius.. drinking with them.. It felt so good. At least for that moment. Drinking to your limit, which I guess is the point you start to feel tipsy.. At the point where you're still conscious but you HAVE THE CHOICE to let yourself go. There's this self-liberation. Like.. there's no time for worries or fears or that horrid voice putting yourself down at the back of your head. Nothing stopping you from being you. It really felt so good. But I shouldn't do this anymore.. The next day is always hell with a splitting headache.

Oh well. Things are going weird. Ha. I really gotta find something to occupy myself with man. Actually things are probably not as bad as all that. Maybe it's just me. Things will be great tomorrow. And things will always be greater the next day after that. And even greater after that.

I feel so guilty..
But yet.. you never fail to make me smile at the end of the day

=aud= hahaha! u nana!! eh jo and i be the kukuheads and u and nic be the nanaheads! wahaha! ok we make brownies next time kaye. =). Erm.. i wonder if we can use the griller.. hurhur!!

=joz= yea man!! haha u guys can crash my house anytime! juz give me a call first. and maybe i'll come and crash yours too! *grin*

=blee= haha it could be anybody. OOoo maybe it's.. you? hurhur.. geegega bleah!! kk u better study hard ya. july on anot? =D

=junchyi= ooh okie. hmm.. slacking most of the time. haha..! no la working too.. 2 days a week.. how's jc life? hey we go back to visit ij jnrs one day? =)

=kioz= heyhey! hmm dun think i'll be coming on sunday.. nvm. muz wake up early nx wk ah! cycling and coffee!! yay *biggrin*


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Hit counter code here	Wednesday, April 26, 2006 This thing about drifting. Maybe I did let my insecurities take it too far. At this stage, people are definitely moving on. But yes, it also doesn't mean that they have totally forgotten what happened before. We can always still keep in touch. We can always still hang out. We can always still meet up, catch up and have fun. It takes at least two to clap. But maybe.. it's hard to offer out one hand to clap on.. Maybe it's because everybody's working.. or off to ns.. or still in school. Or maybe they're all excuses. Heh oh well. Maybe I should get down to doing some calls instead.. =) Thanks for that. 2:51 am · Sunday, April 09, 2006 =jo and aud. and everyone else who's going to say the same thing as them.= haha aiyooo no la i didn't mean ALL of my pri/sec/jc frens!! and definitely not u guys!! i have no intention of letting u guys go at all!! it's just that we will definitely lose contact or slowly drift from SOME of those that we know from school.. =aud= haha thanks gal yea i won't anymore. not so much. that day felt real baddd after drinking.. eh but 29th we go ah..! hurhur. =jo= wahaha okaye. aiya it's still kinda weird washing it with soap!! the food will taste soapy!! =blee= kk sure ;). hmmm. gotta do some power persuading man..! or maybe get JO to come!! biggrin 5:12 pm · Friday, April 07, 2006 I think the many days of no routine and lack of contact with many people is getting to me. I'm starting to get PARANOID and there's just so much nonsense to think about. And it's driving me crazy. And I'm always drifting back to the good old days.. Where things were easier, happier, so much more carefree. When things haven't come to such a stage. Where relationships with people were so much simpler. Where friends aren't so far away. Where we could see each other almost every day. And where things were so much more natural. Where you don't have to constantly feel conscious about how people size you up/judge you/form some stupid negative opinion.. But. Times and situations have changed. We all have our own things to do. We're far less involved in each other's things. There's this strain. This rift. Whatever. And it's so vexing. Ruzzy told me that friends are transient. I guess she's right. First it was letting go of primary school friends. Then secondary school. Then.. it's in between letting go more people and knowing them as friends still. That's the strain.. No. That's not the real issue. It is more of a change in the types of friendships that I have. There are some that I need to let go and not get into it as much as before. There are some that are the total opposite. Much as I want or do not want to.. Dammit. It's a total mess. Fine.. I will sort it out somehow. Which is why that day with daisy and aloysius.. drinking with them.. It felt so good. At least for that moment. Drinking to your limit, which I guess is the point you start to feel tipsy.. At the point where you're still conscious but you HAVE THE CHOICE to let yourself go. There's this self-liberation. Like.. there's no time for worries or fears or that horrid voice putting yourself down at the back of your head. Nothing stopping you from being you. It really felt so good. But I shouldn't do this anymore.. The next day is always hell with a splitting headache. Oh well. Things are going weird. Ha. I really gotta find something to occupy myself with man. Actually things are probably not as bad as all that. Maybe it's just me. Things will be great tomorrow. And things will always be greater the next day after that. And even greater after that. I feel so guilty.. But yet.. you never fail to make me smile at the end of the day =aud= hahaha! u nana!! eh jo and i be the kukuheads and u and nic be the nanaheads! wahaha! ok we make brownies next time kaye. =). Erm.. i wonder if we can use the griller.. hurhur!! =joz= yea man!! haha u guys can crash my house anytime! juz give me a call first. and maybe i'll come and crash yours too! grin =blee= haha it could be anybody. OOoo maybe it's.. you? hurhur.. geegega bleah!! kk u better study hard ya. july on anot? =D =junchyi= ooh okie. hmm.. slacking most of the time. haha..! no la working too.. 2 days a week.. how's jc life? hey we go back to visit ij jnrs one day? =) =kioz= heyhey! hmm dun think i'll be coming on sunday.. nvm. muz wake up early nx wk ah! cycling and coffee!! yay biggrin 6:01 pm ·