Was watching the apprentice yesterday. It's so frightening when the bosses were commenting on amy. They said that just after 10 minutes talking to her, she irritated them so so much as they claimed she was only an empty personality. What is an empty personality? What comprises of a empty personality? How is it ever possible that one's personality can be empty? Do I have an empty personality? It's like.. sometimes I'm just so quiet. I just don't want to speak cuz.. I dunno.. but that's cuz sometimes I feel like I'm just barging in and interrupting or just make people think that what I'm saying is totally irrelevant. I don't want to end up like certain people who are totally prejudiced against.. And.. It's worse when no one tells you.. Everyone just avoids you or when they do talk, it's so superficial. You know there's something they know that you don't. But you just don't know what. That sense of isolation would probably be too much to bear.. Cuz, no one is really on your side. It's like.. you're more alone than ever. I hate being alone. Then why is it that I still want to be alone? Maybe it's cuz I know.. there's a sense of security that if I'm alone, I'll never feel excluded by people. Heh.. isn't that ironic? The fact that I make myself alone already means that there is no form of inclusion whatsoever. So actually, that would make it my fault.. WaDeVa.. Why am I so different around different people? Why do I feel so empty now?

3:47 pm ·